So Am I

by close talker

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released June 2, 2013

Recorded and mixed by Robert Cheeseman in Richmond, VA. 2013
Mastered by Bill Henderson at Azimuth.
Backing vocals by Sarah Fitzpatrick and Roger Anderson.



all rights reserved


close talker Richmond, Virginia

Cory, Steve, Jack, Charlie
Richmond, VA.

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Track Name: Exact Change
so now I sit here, wishing for the way it was last year. It's not coming back. NOTICE ME. Notice everything I have. You only notice what I lack.
I'm wishing for the way it was when we were both still so in love. Heard you hate who I've become. You're so bitter, I'm no fun.

Won't you help me to find my feet? I'm wasting all my time at campus bars. PUT ME TOGETHER. I'm feeling incomplete.

Heard you hate who I've become.
Well so do I.

Wishing for the way it was
We can't get it back
So let's just call it quits.
Track Name: Tales Of Distrust And Cynicism
Tales of distrust and cynicism, that's all I'm good for. That's all I've got. Like how your family doesn't deserve you and how we're not going to get very far in this life. Don't wanna play the game. Guess that means I'm just worthless. I wish that I could take you far from here but I'm just as helpless.

I hope you don't regret this.

While your dad's away your mom spends all her nights out drinking. I wish that I could take you far from here, but I'm just as helpless.

As helpless as you.

As helpless as her.


We're not going to get very far.
Track Name: Mop Water
It gets messy. Oh my god what a mess. They say it all comes together again. And it hurts so bad, like a knife in your side. You're going to pull it out. Aren't you going to try it again?
I won't.

I'm as easily forgotten as her.
She's bored with poetry and I'm not very good with my words.
Can't say the right thing, so I'm not going to say anything at all.

You don't expect it. You're never going to see it coming at all.

oh no.
Track Name: Icarus II
Had a dream, the same one again... cold sweats, and she’s there and she says that it’s the only one she ever has anymore, a solar flare.
And I wish that I was in her arms. NO TIME FOR ROMANCE, so I get up and take the night sky by the hand and we dance.

The time for worship has come and gone
I can’t remember which page I’m on anyway
So if you wake and it’s a beautiful day, you’ll know that we’ve earned our pay

Now there’s no way I won’t live out this dream. As we get closer we must embrace increasing heat our dying host. All we are is stardust.
She’s the only one that I have left, but she’ll never know how I really feel ‘cause we’re ridin’ on in, here we go.
Track Name: Can't Stand Your Laugh
Routine is our religion. We're going through the motions now. It makes me sick to think of how effortless we used to be. Now I can't stand the sound of your laugh anymore. Now I can't stand the sight of you walking through my front door.
Looks like the happy ending, you've always wanted, is just not ours to have.
But you still believe it's out there.
WELL I'M NOT SO SURE. Good luck on your search, love.


It isn't like it was before.
I float around, distant and bored.
I guess the flame has flickered out.
Disinterested, I'm nothing now.
Fear of change binds us tight. I'm nothing today, I'll be nothing tonight,
Track Name: Chinese Sunday
Please tell me where this is going because I'm not sure what to expect.
And I'm terrified that I might be in over my head. So maybe I should run away, before I get too close to you. Once you've seen my real colors you won't be so eager to spend some time getting to know me. Once this things no longer new, I won't seem like such a nice guy. You'll see I've got problems too.
So you might ask me something like, "Hey want to hang out Friday night?", and I'll say something like "Oh, I'm too busy". but really I'm too afraid. Because I KNOW I won't have a single word to say.
Let's just spare ourselves the heartache of ever falling into love.
Let's just go our separate way, I'm SURE you'll find someone more normal.
You deserve someone with far less problems.

Because I've got them all.
Why do you think I'm so quiet? I'm just holding back everything I know you don't want to hear.
Who's to say what's really normal?
Track Name: Guilt Trip
I'm staying in tonight. Screw those dinner plans, I'D RATHER BE ALONE. Just in one of those kind of moods again. Give me the guilt trip. You don't want to see me like this.
And you know it's true.
Because I'm downright unpleasant sometimes, so I'll hide away from everyone.
Because I get SO LOW sometimes..

So if I can't be reached just let me LIE here.
I'll call you back when I feel like myself.

Making small talk, I'M SO SICK OF IT. I don't give a fuck about your degree. Hanging with myself's so effortless. I think I'm fun, not hard to please.

Track Name: End Of The Week
Well I’m gunna keep my hand out this jar, lay low for a while.
I never wanted to be the one to set the bar, I’ll settle for a smile.

And I’ll be happy, at least I say I will.
‘Cause I know that I’m a tough sell
I need you Ally D. Come and ring my bell

Well I’m gunna keep my head on a swivel. Try and stay organized
But I get so flustered at the end of the week when I look in your eyes.

And I’ll be miserable, yeah I know I’ll be
Maybe you can pull me from hell
I need you Ally D. Come and make me well. Come make me well.
Track Name: Summer Makeout King
This is my smile. Can you tell that it's fake already? I've been faking it, oh, for a few years now. Tired of debate between Hibbing and Valdosta. We both know the north is way too cold for you.

And so am I.

This is my laugh. It is forced and it is awkward, in a desperate attempt to avoid uncomfortable silence. Don't feel a thing these days, my heart's made of stone. If there's anything worse, my friend, well I don't want to know.

Won't someone please tell me the plan? Cut me open, I'D DO ANYTHING just to know who I am.

Do I want to know?
Track Name: Shadows
Turn on the light. Let your eyes adjust.
You’re chasing shadows no truth in sight.
Turn the light back off. Now we’re all in the dark
Allegations at which he just scoffs.

What’s going on? No trust, no more. It’s all fucking gone.
For justice we call again.
Can’t crucify his shadow. It’s futile but still you try
And he’s a puppet on the wall again.

This happened down the street. It’s deplorable
It makes us sick. He shit’s where we eat.
Now we must pause.
These are the symptoms, the effects.
Track Name: Bowling Night
I can see the fire in your eyes from here. Are you angry? Or do you just not know where to go?
What a blessing, what a curse, your ambition. It drives you somewhere you have yet to know.
They will push you until you can no longer struggle and then they'll point you where to go. THEN YOU ARE ONE OF THEM. Maybe we already are and we don't even know.
Uh oh.

Searching for something honest to say. Quiet, yet strong. This is something you need? This is something I don't. Give it up. Move away. Settle down. The transformation's complete. We are one of them now.

I don't think I'll change.
Maybe I already have.
Let me know.
Things won't ever be this good again. PEOPLE CHANGE &
Track Name: Hit My Wall
It’s so easy to avoid having to search for answers.
It’s hard to say how long and in how many ways I’ve been hurtin’.
I’ve been hurtin but now I’m near the end of daze.

Enlighten me, or just leave me be.
Keep my BAC up, I might be fine.

Enlighten me. And I’ll just sit here and stare, ask my myself if I care.
Don’t even know who I am.
I’m not an astronaut, but I’m in the space program.

I’ve hit my wall
These are signs of distress, but they (mine) don’t mean anything at all.